Threes?

Nope, this isn't the Thursday Three from The Sisterhood.  This is that old adage of "things come in threes".

I want to preface this by saying this last month? Has had a lot of stress.  It started with my 14-year-old niece's cancer diagnosis.  And the next day finding out that my cousin's dad had been found dead in his home.  T was out of town for work and I remember begging him to drive the 5 hours home safely because holy shit what was next?  Just as my heart was beginning to accept the realities of my families' lives, my mom called last night on her way to our house sobbing on the phone.  She just found out that her younger sister had died.  My cousin had been calling her yesterday and not getting a response, so she drove over to check on my aunt.  Her apartment was locked and there was no answer.  When she got someone to open the door, she was laying in bed...not asleep.  I can't fathom what a horrible thing it is to unexpectedly find your mother dead.  Typing that makes the tears fall and my chest tight.

Do you remember the end of the movie "The Green Mile"?  Where the little old lady Tom Hanks is telling his story to realizes that he must be much older than she thought?  He says something to the effect that he thinks a little bit of that power rubbed off on him and having to watch those around him die was his punishment for killing one of God's miracles.

If you didn't know I had a birthday earlier this month where I proudly proclaimed that I had just turned 21. I know why I claim this.  It has nothing to do with the desire to not get older or acquire more gray hairs or more wrinkles or even that my kids are getting older.  It has to do with the mortality of those who are also getting older in my life.  My elders.  I think of the fact that T lost his mom when he was 21 and how he still feels that loss.  It brings to mind the thought of how I will cope when my own parents' time comes.  That sounds morbid, but my parents are such an integral part of my life that I can't fathom my kids not having them around.  I can't fathom what it would be like to not be able to invite them over for dinner and share a bottle of wine or something as simple as asking for an opinion on a situation.  I can't fathom what it would be like to attend a family reunion without them.

I didn't know my aunt well.  And she and my mom had their struggles with their relationship until the last five years or so.  But in the past 4 years since we've been back in Nevada I've seen her and spent some time with her.  She was a person who had her fair share of life shitting on her, her fair share of poor decisions, but she seemed to become more content as she aged.  She was 59.  And my mom's heart is broken.  So hug those you love because you truly never know when you might turn around and they'll be gone.