Halling Go To Alaska

It's been over two months since I last posted something that was not my weekly pictures.  I'm glad I've kept up on those otherwise this poor blog would be very lonely. A little update.  We have a final court date for the divorce set for June 19th.   The girls have adapted well to the week-to-week schedule change.  I don't think they've had any glitches to speak of in forgetting things at the wrong house, so that's good.  The girls are in weekly counseling, which I think has a lot to do with their adaptation to the new routine.  The 11yo is still in gymnastics.  The 9yo has decided swimming is not what's for her.  I'm waiting to hear back from a local dance studio because she wants to take tap lessons.  The 6yo has joined preteam for gymnastics and is thrilled beyond belief to be going to gym twice a week and working out with the team.  I can't believe how big my baby is getting. I ran my first race since Tough Mudder last Sunday with Bek...

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now, but I'm not sure I was in a place to write it until now. Will I actually hit publish this time? If I don't, I guess you'll never know.  But I want to.  And it's complicated and not concise and I have so much to say.  But it's raw and honest.  Though I keep going back to this post  I wrote after getting home from FitBloggin'11. And the last paragraph. So what's the point of this long rambling post? Essentially it's telling you that I have mad love for the blogging world. I met fabulous people this past weekend and spent more time with those that I already love. I desperately needed this past weekend away. I was losing my "voice." I felt like I was losing me. I needed to be Kirsten. Not someone's mom, someone's daughter, someone's sister or someone's wife. But I got to be me. And I think that little light of mine? It's shining just a bit brighter than it had been before...

Source: fashionhealthy.tumblr.com via Kirsten on Pinterest So much to say.  So much pain.  So many tears.  So much.  Too much.  I'm overwhelmed.  I'm mad.  I'm scared.  I'm exhausted.  I'm sad.  All of these emotions for so many reasons.  Ones I'm not ready to talk about here but soon.  I miss you guys.  I miss posting here.  I miss sharing more than just my weekly pictures...which if we're honest have been less than inspirational lately.  My focus hasn't been on dragging my camera around with me.  You've been getting pictures from my phone...for the most part.  I miss feeling creative with my pictures.  I miss a lot right now.  I'm trying to remember this... Source: Uploaded by user via Kirsten on Pinterest and this... Source: sueswink.tumblr.com via Kirsten on Pinterest

I've written a lot about my relationship with relationships .  There's lots to know .  But have you ever seemingly been hit with a doozy? One that you didn't know existed? And then, BAM! You're whole outlook sorta changes?  The doozy can be good or the doozy can be bad. I'm a writer in the sense that I come to understand things mainly about myself by writing, free writing a lot of the time.  I used to journal.  I have a stack of journals from college...and I only went for 2-1/2 years.  (That's a whole 'nother story.)  I stopped writing for most of high school because my words were compromised and that scared me.  It scared me to not be able to trust and I stopped writing for probably 3 years. I loved a good journaling book and a fine point pen that had a good flow of ink.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're missing out.  There are pens that are just *meant* to be written with.  They glide across the paper. ...

I've been in a blogging slump lately.  There is either not enough time to get it all done or I feel like what I want to say isn't really appropriate to be sharing across the internets.  Not that I don't love you all, because I do, but there's the whole privacy of others that needs to be respected.  Eh.  What are you gonna do, right? The kids are finishing up their last couple of weeks of school.  Some days happy to know the years is almost over and some days trudging through the day because "why can't I just be done already?"  Yeah, me too, kid! I have yet to begin *any* kind of packing for our 5-week cross country road trip.  I suppose I should probably start making lists or something.  But right now I'm focused on getting a little reprieve from daily life when tomorrow afternoon I am heading to Baltimore for FitBloggin!  I'm quite excited.  I wasn't sure how I was going to make this happen when I found out my name was picked for the fr...

So after yesterday my world seems a little melancholy.  To be honest, Spain was probably a long shot.  Though we were hopeful T's experience with the military would have made him a prime candidate because  if you know the military you know they work from a totally different frame of reference and to have someone who understands the military (even though this was a contract position) usually makes a difference.  Or maybe they had previously had military people running the show and they were hoping for a change in perspective.  Who knows.  All I know is that the search will go on.  Because T is not one to be complacent.  It took almost a year before he got out of his last crappy job situation.  Though, to be fair, it was almost a year ago that they started with the furlough days and lack of overtime. It's weird to think that we've been in one place for over 4 years.  This is a first for us.  Well, it's a first in that we have no curre...

I have to blog about this, discretely, but blog I must.  Because I might explode otherwise. These are the days I want to hand in not only my parent card but my adult card.  I want to be carefree and playing freeze tag or hide and seek. I have to have a conversation.  One that could be much harder, but a conversation nonetheless. And do more safeguarding.  Even though it makes me so so so sad.  I must. And maybe I'll be able to clarify more later.

Yeah, it was foreshadowing and I didn't realize it. Sweet Pea has had a drippy nose for the last couple of days.  We had a birthday party yesterday evening at one of those bounce house places.  We were home by 7:30, but I think it was a bad idea.  She had a little cough last night while she was sleeping.  Mix that with T being out of town and my being up late working. I woke up to her sitting in front of the TV, not dressed.  Gallon of milk on the table.  A spilled bowl of cereal on.my.carpet.  With us needing to leave in 30 minutes.  For picture day at school. I *might* have yelled. A bit. Needless to say she didn't make it to school today.  I had no intension of trying to get her dressed in something without a stain on it.  (Sweet Pea is the master of ruining clothes.) Then do her hair so we didn't have to have a forever memory of her looking like a rag-a-muffin. So she missed out.  Which also means that I missed out on my once-a-...

This week Beth gave us free reign as to what to capture.   Life has been...rough lately.  We spent some time at the park the other day.  I brought my camera.  Trying to capture life as it happens to focus on the good.  Glancing down I noticed something The creases on my hand. Those lines that allow my hands to bend and grasp. But look! More lines and cracks and creases.  But somehow we see a piece of bark as so different from our own living skin. But they each allow protection and a level of comfort for their surroundings.  Each show scars, weathering, the passage of time. The bark may no longer be living but it can tell you where it's been.  Just like the stories of our hearts.  Check out what others decided to capture this week.

I know that's a shocker to everyone, right?  But I've prided myself on the fact that I don't usually let things bring me down.  Add to that fact is that my life is pretty sweet.  I have a husband that loves me, three girls who are smart, funny, precocious and sometimes greatly annoying (but I'm sure I'm annoying too if you spend enough hours with me).  My parents are supportive and wonderful with my kids.  My friends are supportive and helpful and funny and make me smile when I most need a smile.  They comfort my heart.  (Many of them I've yet to meet.) But this last month and a half has been rough.  Death, sickness, stress, distance.  It's a lot to handle in such a short period of time.  Because doesn't the proverbial "it" always happen to someone else?  I talked about my feelings on mortality after my aunt died.  It's a scary world out there.  I'm trying not to let the realities of life bring me down, but my heart has be...

It has occurred to me that I haven't done a post with substance in a while.  I used to put it all out there. Wear my heart on my sleeve.  And I haven't lately.  I think part of the issue is the fact that since all the craziness of the first half of this year, things have finally calmed down and I'm enjoying not thinking any more than I have to. But there has been a lot going through my mind lately.  Some of it not fit for the blog. ************************************************************************* I know I'm not the only one in this situation. And I've mentioned it before, I'm sure.  I have friends with many different points of view.  I'm actually in the minority among the people I hang out with that I'm a little left-leaning in comparison.  And many times I go out of my way to *not* have certain conversations because I'm scared that their viewpoints will be so different than mine that I will have trouble overlooking those viewpoints.  Well...

There are days when I go to church and hear something.  I mean really hear something that hits me right.there.   You know what I'm talking about, right?  Maybe you don't hear it at church.  Maybe you hear it from a friend or reading a blog or from a family member.  But where ever you hear it, you just stop and go WOW.   Well I had one of those moments this morning.  Currently we have a seminarian in our parish. A seminarian is someone who is in the learning process of becoming a priest.  This is essentially his "intern" year.  So anyway, he gave the sermon today.  The words he spoke were "we all sin because of something broken inside of us" You may say, well yeah.  Duh.  Sin is bad, so if you are sinning then obviously something isn't right.  I thought back to what I find to be one of my biggest faults.  My short temper with my family.  It's not that I'm always yelling (although there are certainly days...

I've been feeling a little out of sorts of late. Not really sure if there is one thing that is causing it or just a whole mess of things. I know part of it has to do with Tim being gone so much. It's hard with him gone, but at the same time it's hard when he's only back for a week or so and then has to leave again. Our schedule stays the same, but my role in it changes and the girls love having their daddy home, but it's hard. M (I'm going to have to come up with some better than their initials!) actually has been missing Tim a lot lately. She has always been a mommy's girl. She would talk to Tim on the phone when he was gone, but she never showed any signs of really missing him. I have always chalked that up the fact that when she was born he had just started back to school and was taking a minimum of 18 credits a semester and working part time along with his drill weekends. He graduated when she was about 18 months old. He missed out on a lot in...