An Open Letter

To those who haven't been in my life in the last year:

This is a letter I'm writing to all of those I considered my friends up until September 2011.  It's been just over a year since I made the decision to file for divorce.  They say that in hard times you find out who your real friends are.  And let me tell you how glaringly obvious it became when it seemed like you dropped off the face of the earth.  Some of you claimed that no matter what, you understood and you still wanted to be a part of my life.  Some of you never claimed much.  At least to me. 

Bottom line?  It made me sad that even though you called me friend, you never thought to pull me aside and ask *my* side of the story.  I can understand not wanting to get in the middle.  Hell...I haven't enjoyted  being in the middle.  But to listen only to the squeaky wheel because, well, it squeaks does not tell the whole story.  I never would have asked you to take sides.  Never.  Because a friend wouldn't do that.  All I wanted was to be cared enough about to try, and not be fake about trying. 

I've realized in the last year that my circle is small.  Even smaller than I originally thought.  And I'm okay with that.  I've always been okay with a small circle of friends.  Because I'd rather have quality than quantity.  I don't look to anyone for approval.  I am more sure of who I am now than ever before and I refuse to compromise myself for anyone else.  I demand and deserve respect, and if you don't want to give it?  That's your issue, not mine. 

So if you see me in town (because you know you will...this place ain't big)...feel free to ignore me as you have for the past year.  I have no need of people blowing sunshine up my ass.  I just want to take one day at a time and enjoy life.  Be it days when I'm immersed in mommy duties or days when I get to be just Kirsten.  Because I found her and I like her. And I'm embracing her. 

Just remember...it takes two *and* there are two perspectives/sides to every story.